It was one of the worst times in my life. My marriage of thirteen years was in the process of divorce. My whole world had just fallen apart. My two boys were both under ten years of age. I was deeply concerned as to how all this would affect them. To say that I was going through a huge change would be putting it mildly.
One night I woke up with this terrible feeling. It seemed as though I were engulfed in loneliness and fear. I thought, “Boy am I lonely!”
The next day I experienced the most intense loneliness of my life.
That next night that same feeling woke me up. I had been thinking about my boys and I was worried about how the boys would fare through all of this.
The next day I dealt with my boys and my projections on them.
In the following nights this feeling came again and again. If I said I was hurt, then the next day I experienced hurt. If I said I was lonely the next day I was lonely.
Finally after about a week of this phenomenon, I realized that this feeling was really nothing but energy. It became what I named it! If I named it happiness, then my next day was happier. I finally started naming it “Wonderful Transformation!”.
These waves of emotion continued to flow over me. It never felt very comfortable and I didn’t enjoy the sensation, but in spite of what it felt like, I knew that it was nothing ’til I named it.
Nothing ’til You Name It! Commentary:
The Zen Buddhist call this practice of not naming a sensation “Mindfulness”.
It may feel bad.
It may look bad.
It may smell bad.
It may sound bad.
Your heart may even sense it as being bad…
But it is nothing ’til you name it.
Happiness, sadness and even loneliness are just states of mind. The circumstances of life do not have to dictate which state of mind you live in.
A person can be happy doing the dishes or miserable. You can be happy making love or you can be miserable. You name it.
Once you name a situation, it becomes your reality and you must then deal with the results of your choice. Carefully and consciously choose your states of mind.